Silver’s Award-winning Playbook
By now everyone knows that Silver Linings Playbook is a good movie. It’s the first movie since 2004 to get nominated for each of the ‘Big Five’ categories at the Academy Awards (Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, and Screenwriter), becoming one of 41 films ever created to achieve this.
Even after that, I believe winning any of these awards (let alone all five) is a long shot for poor little Silver Linings, entirely due to the sheer cutthroat savagery of the films it is up against. Award-gobbling monsters like Lincoln and Argo stand in its way. In this post, Silver Linings Playbook will be the protagonist who we help guide to glory in each of the five categories. Here is the playbook I composed:
“I don’t understand”
Movie 43 is the kind of movie you feel immensely guilty about after you finish watching it, while you’re watching it, before you start watching it, and immediately when you get the idea you should watch it. You probably shouldn’t see it.
Besides being bad, the movie is known for its enormous ensemble of highly respected actors. The list of actors is ridiculous and what’s more ridiculous is that they could not combine forces and make a single good joke. Two heads is better than one, but this movie proves that one is better than eight-dozen. Hollywood seems to think constantly regurgitating crude sexual knee-slappers is a surefire way to make audiences laugh. I suppose appealing to the lowest common denominator is a smart strategy on paper, but couldn’t a single intelligent joke have been squeezed into the movie’s ninety minute run time? I guess we already know the answer.
(My cat got reaped in the hunger games this year so yeah I’m a little upset.)
As I suppose is tradition before I begin a new semester of college, today I will rank the movies I’ve seen from late summer up until now, worst to best. I tried to remain at least a little objective with this, but then I thought, mmm, better not. The amount of Golden Globes or Oscar nominations a movie has earned doesn’t really hold much weight here, sorry babes.
Gangster Squad tried to kick off the 2013 year in cinema with a bang. Unfortunately, the plan backfired, and what could have been a profit-grabbing heist was nothing more than a malicious misdemeanor.
The almost-suave and slick gangster film originally aimed for release in summer 2012, but was postponed due to similarities between the Aurora shooting and certain sequences of the film. Sadly the summer release would have suited the film much better; 2012’s summer of movies wasn’t exactly the highlight of the year, and Gangster Squad could have snuck by as a middling option in comparison to other Hollywood detritus. Instead, it lead January to a disappointing beginning. We can only hope it’s not an omen for the rest of the year. (Rather we should hope 2013 follows the trend set by that other movie about 0s and 30s in the dark, or something.)
I’m in full hype mode for Gangster Squad this Friday, even though its reviews on Rotten Tomatoes are less than favorable right now. But that doesn’t matter because that meter is wack. I decided to watch Crazy Stupid Love because Squad actors Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone were a couple in this movie first, and I can’t wait to see them reunited. They’re two of my favorite actors, which is why I’m excited for Gangster Squad, and probably why I loved Crazy Stupid Love.
The film is a 2011 romantic comedy that actually managed to be funny, an event in Hollywood that happens far less often than it should. Alongside Gosling and Stone are a bunch of other big names like Steve Carrell, Julianne Moore, and Kevin Bacon, along with a few excellent young newcomers like Analeigh Tipton and Jonah Bobo.
Don’t be intimidated by the whopping amount of movies. I included like 36. Feel free to vote for as many as you want!
Me? Identity Theft, The Great Gatsby, Man of Steel, Carrie, and Catching Fire. I also voted for Percy Jackson, if only because no one else is going to. I’ve been reading the book series obsessively, and it’s awesome. I haven’t even seen the first one yet.
So I have a friend named Alex who is mildly insane but he’s been a massive help in getting traffic to my blog, so right now I want to return the favor.
Alex is a musician and goes to SAE Institute in New York City, which is a really awesome music production school. He’s been making his own music since I don’t even know when, but he’s been showing me lyrics he’s written since probably the day we met.
Les too much Miserables
I’ll be straightforward. Before seeing the movie, I was under the impression that Les Misérables would be a conventional musical, as in, characters sing their feelings, pause, communicate with spoken words, then sing again. Perhaps throw in a few catchy dances here and there. But apparently the French do musicals differently. Their songs never end.
So I was taken highly off guard when, twenty minutes in, what I assumed had been the first song of the film hadn’t quite finished yet. Hugh Jackman (taking the lead as Jean Valjean) had single-handedly lifted a fallen ship mast, grown a beard Gandalf would be proud of, and traversed all across France looking for work, and he hadn’t taken a single breather the entire time. I suppose it was around then I accepted the film’s harsh, spine-chilling reality: In France, you must be wealthy, well-liked, and lucky in order to survive. Also you can never stop singing.